I love Christmas- the traditions, the music, the decorations, celebrating the birth of our savior. It's a beautiful time of year, and cause for much joy. It's easy to dream up what the season will look like, with visions of cozy evenings in the living room, reading from Ann Voskamp's, "Unwrapping the Greatest Gift" advent book, teaching my children life lessons on serving others, definitely making sure that Jesus is the focus of our celebrating instead of gifts, etc.
All good things.
Sometimes though, all those good things can turn into something less then what they were meant to be. The tradition loses it's meaning in the chaos of life. They suddenly become a hindrance to my ability to have joy, and become a source of either pride or guilt. How is this possible?
When an evening of advent turns to a yelling match to get everyone to sit, and you are trying to just get through because this is what we are "supposed" to do... the point seems lost doesn't it? When I hold too tightly to my idea of what this season should look like, and then when expectations collide with real life, and the good things don't fit the mold of my reality, the result just isn't good.
The result is disappointment and believed lies.
I've failed.
My children will never understand.
They will be forever trapped in the chains of materialism.... because I didn't do enough to focus on Christ.
I should have...
If only...
The list could go on.
Oh, the bondage of self inflicted expectations.
Here's the truth- my Christmas confession, while I really did have intentions of doing so, we have only done our advent devotional maybe 3 times this month. Gasp! :) (and to add... the times we did do it, it wasn't always pretty. Someone was crying because they didn't get to answer a question, or it wasn't their night to put the advent picture up on the chart...)
I'm pretty sure we will be okay though. It was honestly setting my expectations too high to think that we could do a devotional every night. We have something every night of the week (Bible studies, prayer meeting, Bill away at school, etc.), and while I would have loved to have been able to follow through with this vision, I was not able to... and I have peace about it.
My secret.... I let it go.
I'm to the point in life where I want to simplify. If something isn't working, I will try to toss or replace it, and not stress about it. Sometimes that's easier said then done. Sometimes I have to ask the Lord to step in and help me release my death grip on expectations.
I teach my children about Jesus on a daily basis. This season of tradition and of advent isn't a, make it or break it deal if it doesn't flow perfectly.
The season of advent- to celebrate Jesus, is really every day, all year, not just the month of December.
There is freedom in being able to give up how I think things should go, become flexible, and allow the Holy Spirit to led our family... even if it isn't something I can post pretty to Instagram. :)
This Chirstmas I am going to rest in who He is and just take joy in His beautiful gifts. Instead of trying to busy myself with activities about Him- I will rest in His presence remembering that He accepts me and all my flaws.
I will not bow down to pressures this Advent.
I will only bow down before You, Lord.
It's the wavering between gods that has me sinking.
It's the wavering between the gods of things & the God of everything -
that's what has me flailing & drowning soundless in it all.
Jesus, the Gift, comes to give me love freely through *His passion for me* --
what every other god (acceptance & approval)
forces me to try to get through my own performance.
I will bend toward Jesus & His passion for me -- not toward the pressures that force me to perform....
-Ann Voskamp
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