*Note: I am sharing something that has been on my
heart for a long time. I seek no compliments in what I write. I also do
not have an, "I am good for nothing attitude", just to be clear. I believe that anyone can be used by God... including me.
I find the words pressing deep into my heart, yet my ability to express those thoughts fall flat every time I place my fingers to the keyboard. Nothing comes out. Sometimes the deepest things felt, are the hardest to get out. How do I adequately explain the truth as I know it? The truth that I have known my whole life, the truth that has been beating into the background of every story. It shouldn't be that hard to explain, it's actually rather simple.
The simple truth is, I am probably one of the most ordinary people you will meet. I am nothing remotely close to spectacular. :)
No frills.
Nothing particularly different from most.
My talents and gifts aren't really the most unique or polished.
I am not a good speaker and often feel backwards or at a loss when it comes to verbally communicating my thoughts to others.
I am not someone who stands out (nor do I seek to be).
I am just plain and simple, Elizabeth Ann (without an E). :)
This being said, Sometimes it becomes discouraging and makes me weary, to have that simple truth, the one that I have known all my life, and will be the first to readily admit, pointed out to me over and over.
This morning I sat in Church as Bill was about to go to the front to speak, praying that God would remove Bill and that people would simply hear God’s heart- His heart for the nations. I had been awake since 5 a.m. urgently praying. There was a heavy burden on my heart..the burden of casting vision for what God has called us to do. I felt afraid of failing, of being misunderstood, or being judged and criticized. The Lord was so gracious to remind me that I don’t need to fear what others think, I need only to obey.
I KNOW that I am nothing spectacular. This is not to say that I don’t have God given gifts, I do, and I am in fact comfortable with who God made me to be. I believe I am special to Him because I am His creation, created in His image... (However, it doesn't mean that I am God's gift to the World... that was Jesus' position, not mine. : ) )
If you are looking to be wowed, to be impressed, to be inspired and blown away, you are looking in the wrong place. You are going to be disappointed. People have told Bill and I over and over through the years that we were not enough, we do not have enough passion, that maybe we should revisit our “calling”. I know that I can not convince anyone of this, but to not being enough, I say, Amen! This is an undeniable truth. We are not enough… but my God is.
To those who doubt, I do understand. I have at times questioned God myself just as Moses did, saying- why me Lord? I cannot do this, I am nothing special. His response is always the same though, and His qualifications for service never change. He likes to call the broken, the not enoughers (yes, I made up a word), the non spectacular, the un-beautiful, and ask them to serve. Maybe it is so He can get the most glory? Because when something good is accomplished for His kingdom, people can point to it and say, “That was the Lord. Only the Lord could accomplish that work.”
He has given us this treasure of the Gospel, and we do not want to squander it. This is why we go.
All I can tell you is this, though in man’s eyes we may not be the most ideal… I love Jesus with my whole heart, and just want to serve Him, and take His light to a dark world, because it is unacceptable that there are so many dying without the hope of the Gospel.
Sometimes obedience to God is radical, and doesn’t make any sense to others, and this is okay. I am learning that it matters not what others think, and to keep pressing on with my eyes fixed on Jesus.
Oh, that the Lord continue to decrease me, so that He can be increased- that others might see only Him. All to His glory!
“I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.” -Elisabeth Elliot
I find the words pressing deep into my heart, yet my ability to express those thoughts fall flat every time I place my fingers to the keyboard. Nothing comes out. Sometimes the deepest things felt, are the hardest to get out. How do I adequately explain the truth as I know it? The truth that I have known my whole life, the truth that has been beating into the background of every story. It shouldn't be that hard to explain, it's actually rather simple.
The simple truth is, I am probably one of the most ordinary people you will meet. I am nothing remotely close to spectacular. :)
No frills.
Nothing particularly different from most.
My talents and gifts aren't really the most unique or polished.
I am not a good speaker and often feel backwards or at a loss when it comes to verbally communicating my thoughts to others.
I am not someone who stands out (nor do I seek to be).
I am just plain and simple, Elizabeth Ann (without an E). :)
This being said, Sometimes it becomes discouraging and makes me weary, to have that simple truth, the one that I have known all my life, and will be the first to readily admit, pointed out to me over and over.
This morning I sat in Church as Bill was about to go to the front to speak, praying that God would remove Bill and that people would simply hear God’s heart- His heart for the nations. I had been awake since 5 a.m. urgently praying. There was a heavy burden on my heart..the burden of casting vision for what God has called us to do. I felt afraid of failing, of being misunderstood, or being judged and criticized. The Lord was so gracious to remind me that I don’t need to fear what others think, I need only to obey.
I KNOW that I am nothing spectacular. This is not to say that I don’t have God given gifts, I do, and I am in fact comfortable with who God made me to be. I believe I am special to Him because I am His creation, created in His image... (However, it doesn't mean that I am God's gift to the World... that was Jesus' position, not mine. : ) )
If you are looking to be wowed, to be impressed, to be inspired and blown away, you are looking in the wrong place. You are going to be disappointed. People have told Bill and I over and over through the years that we were not enough, we do not have enough passion, that maybe we should revisit our “calling”. I know that I can not convince anyone of this, but to not being enough, I say, Amen! This is an undeniable truth. We are not enough… but my God is.
To those who doubt, I do understand. I have at times questioned God myself just as Moses did, saying- why me Lord? I cannot do this, I am nothing special. His response is always the same though, and His qualifications for service never change. He likes to call the broken, the not enoughers (yes, I made up a word), the non spectacular, the un-beautiful, and ask them to serve. Maybe it is so He can get the most glory? Because when something good is accomplished for His kingdom, people can point to it and say, “That was the Lord. Only the Lord could accomplish that work.”
He has given us this treasure of the Gospel, and we do not want to squander it. This is why we go.
All I can tell you is this, though in man’s eyes we may not be the most ideal… I love Jesus with my whole heart, and just want to serve Him, and take His light to a dark world, because it is unacceptable that there are so many dying without the hope of the Gospel.
Sometimes obedience to God is radical, and doesn’t make any sense to others, and this is okay. I am learning that it matters not what others think, and to keep pressing on with my eyes fixed on Jesus.
Oh, that the Lord continue to decrease me, so that He can be increased- that others might see only Him. All to His glory!
“I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.” -Elisabeth Elliot
1 comment:
A very heartfelt post. It is recognized.
As is your answer to the skeptics and doubters: "We are not enough… but my God is."
Our God indwells you and others of us: that makes you and us special. "Elizabeth Ann (without an E)" + the Living God is quite special! Honor Him by recognizing that.
It is obedience when called, but even moreso, it is surrender, total absolute surrender to anything that that indwelling God chooses for you.
Are we available? Are we open for anything that he sends our way? Are we open to the Spirit of God expressing Himself in ways we could not imagine? Are you ready to receive "No" to some of your requests? Really? Truly?
Discover your gift. It is there all along.
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