Last night one of my daughters came to me with a disappointing situation that recently transpired with a friend. She was feeling hurt and angry at what had happened. In the moment I felt like I did a good job listening, then acknowledging the hurt, and then imparting wisdom on how to deal...
This morning I woke up with a distant memory made clear, of my own mom hugging me tight when I went to her with a hurtful situation, a broken heart. No lectures, no words imparted in that moment, only sympathy, and arms of comfort. Words came later.
I quickly realized my mistake from the night before. While I had done my motherly duty and spoken good words, I forgot that sometimes the first response should just be a hug and a look of understanding because I've been there before and I remember the pain. Sometimes what a teenage girl needs most in the moment is a listening ear and an "I love you", and "you're going to be ok but I know this hurts right now". Or simply no words at all. Listening to their hearts is such a sacred act. Many things can be said in those moments though no words are spoken.
Learning to recognize when it's time to just hug or time to speak words is such a balancing act. Sometimes I get it right, and sometimes I have to go backwards and say, I messed up here, I see now what you need.
Motherhood is so stretching. I've been doing this for nearly 15 years, and still have much to learn.
"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."- C.S. Lewis
This morning I woke up with a distant memory made clear, of my own mom hugging me tight when I went to her with a hurtful situation, a broken heart. No lectures, no words imparted in that moment, only sympathy, and arms of comfort. Words came later.
I quickly realized my mistake from the night before. While I had done my motherly duty and spoken good words, I forgot that sometimes the first response should just be a hug and a look of understanding because I've been there before and I remember the pain. Sometimes what a teenage girl needs most in the moment is a listening ear and an "I love you", and "you're going to be ok but I know this hurts right now". Or simply no words at all. Listening to their hearts is such a sacred act. Many things can be said in those moments though no words are spoken.
Learning to recognize when it's time to just hug or time to speak words is such a balancing act. Sometimes I get it right, and sometimes I have to go backwards and say, I messed up here, I see now what you need.
Motherhood is so stretching. I've been doing this for nearly 15 years, and still have much to learn.
"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."- C.S. Lewis
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